Can of Whup-Ass

Can of Whup-Ass ($1.00, Weight 2) -- Ever seen those crazy "beer hats" people used to wear to football games? You know, the hat with the two beer cans mounted right above the brim, and in each can, a straw that leads down to the wearer's mouth? Imagine a similar contraption attached to the shell of a warcrab. Now imagine that the can is full of Red Bull. Now that's a can of Whup-Ass!

If you think taurine gets you hopped up, just wait till you see what it does to crustaceans. If you equip your crab with this gizmo, he will be able to sip Reb Bull whenever he wants, for an added boost of energy. At the beginning of each turn, decide whether your crab will take a sip: if he does, he will have a +5 boost on his Strength, Dexterity and Endurance for one turn, and one turn only. For each sip, the crab also has a 1 in 6 chance of dying of cardiac arrest. For every sip you take, roll one die: on a roll of 1, your crab is a goner.

How many sips are there in a Can of Whup-Ass? We asked Mr. Owl, but he died on the third drink, so the world may never know. For game purposes, a Can of Whup-Ass is efffectively bottomless.