Chia Pot

Chia Pot ($1.00 per dose, no weight, one-time use) – One of the first off-the-books inventions to emerge at AssHoTech, Chia Pot is a dwarf variety of marijuana that can be grown, surreptitiously, right in the office. Chia Pot seeds are generally sold in a grapefruit-sized wad wrapped in pantyhose. Inside the wad, along with the seeds, is a growing medium and nutrients – everything you need to grow Chia Pot. To get your farm started, all you have to do is soak the ball in water, place the ball on your windowsill, and wait for the seeds to sprout. To disguise the fact that they are growing an illegal plant, AssHoTech workers often put their Chia Pot balls in playful containers resembling cartoon characters, celebrities (Einstein and Don King are popular) or political figures.

Despite its illicit nature, Chia Pot is not very kind bud. Harvesting and preparing it for human consumption is a painstaking process, sort of like threading a needle and searching a kid’s head for lice at the same time. THC levels in the plant are low to nonexistent (the plant was engineered from the non-recreational, research-grade pot that can be legally grown in labs.) However, when hermit crabs chew the leaves, they often get a mild high. Think of teenaged Somali gunmen chewing khat leaves, and you get the idea.

A single dose of Chia Pot is expensive, and can be used only one time. However, chewing the drug will give the crab a temporary +1 on Strength, Endurance and Dexterity and all scores derived from those abilities. A crab can be given more than one dose, for a cumulative effect, but there is a risk of death by overdose. If a crab consumes more than one dose per turn, the player should roll one die: if the roll is lower than the number of doses, the crustacean has gone the way of Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison.